Yesterday I was shaken by my insecurities. My hair, my skin, my weight, my whole appearance bothered me. I was annoyed by my physical aspect but at the same time I was annoyed at the fact that I was annoyed by it. At the back of my head I knew how petty and undeserved these consternations are. Funny enough, it makes one realise the scope of one’s life. Being irate to these things reflected back to how shallow and narrow my spirit and consciousness still are.
I was definitely irrational last night and today I am thankful that I slept it all off, just in time to stop me from my crazy and impulsive decisions.
Before I was driven under Morpheus’s spell, I forced myself to be thankful. Even though I was still plagued now and then by these insecurities, I am now half-aware of how undeserved the airtime I was giving them is. Everything is a work in progress and I am just happy that I remembered that. In a whiff, I felt better.
I went to Leo Babauta’s blog zenhabits.com because going there always makes me feel better. I found a post about a thinking habit that he accounts changed his life. It was simply being thankful. It was perfect since instead of choking yourself on things that are lacking you breathe in and feel light because of the things that you do have. I always keep in mind the passage from Conversations with God, everything is already there and present, nothing lacks. Looking back to this quote reinvigorates me and infuses me with confidence and power.
So today I am generally thankful for
1. My family’s unwavering love and support and their health
2. My friends’ company and energy
3. The fact that I am still alive and capable of doing anything
4. The fact that I have the capacity to eat and live healthy